By Tsu Shan Chambers, Founder of Yin Health
We all know life happens…particuarly when we have worked so hard towards something. E.g. unexpected illness, we get rejected from the job we want, people we trust let us down, we don’t see as many customers that we had expected…..
Often, what we do when we’re down is blame and criticise someone rather than take any positive action or at best, talk, laugh (or bawl) it out with a good friend. I was told by the inspirational Layne Beechley (7 times surfing world champion) recently, that most people get disappointed, even depressed at times. However, the difference with successful people, is that they don’t stay down for very long. They know how to lift themselves back up.
The worst things about blaming others is that we often do it to the closest people around us who actually genuinely help us, rather than taking some personal responsibility on the situation we ourselves actually created. Yes….personal responsibility….successful people don’t shy away from this, no matter how confronting….
So, rather than hurting our biggest supporters (who, let’s face it, we do need in our lives to help us achieve our dreams), why not try something different:
1) Pick up a pen.
In an increasingly popular technique called self-affirmation, you write a sentence about the one thing that you feel disappointed about, but turn it around so it is in a positive light. E.g. If you feel discouraged about someone, write “I am so gratefull that X is there for me and supports me unconditionally.”
Research has found that by crystallizing who they were and the resources they had, people’s emotional core remained intact…so they stopped broadcasting anxious and avoidant vibes.
2) Take the attention off yourself – Describe your dog or BFF
Explain on paper what you adore about their cat, dog or best buddy. Studies have shown that your self-esteem can bounce right back.
3) Hunt for Smiles!
After being down once or twice, we might start to see rejection or negativity everywhere (the boss grunts instead of greets, a friend is late for coffee). Why don’t you play a game with yourself to seek out positive (smiling) faces or news—which may reduce the knee-jerk expectation that you’ll get disappointed again. After a week of smile-hunting every morning before work, you just may feel more confident, cope better and reduce your stress levels.
4) Get some help
Some events some times can be so overwhelming that you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel and lift yourself. You have people offering to help you but you’ve got some pride….you don’t want their help yet you feel yourself falling into a spiral. If you know you have been feeling like this for a while or you know someone, it can help to go talk to a professional counsellor. Even if you just need one session, you’ve taken action and helped yourself and everyone else around you who are being affected by a negative, over-emotional you.
If you get a referral from your GP, you can receive a Medicare rebate back for your sessions.
Remember, “Each moment that you are happy is a gift to the rest of the world.” –Harry Palmer, author of the Avatar® Materials.